Right before the holiday season of 2014, I was called into the Registrar’s Office (the Boss’ Boss), and in the moment I was called in, I shot a message across to my coworker, “is this the time when they will let me go?”
It was. I would be let go at the end of April 2015.
I had felt it coming, seen it coming even, but when it came it still hit me with a debilitating blow. No matter how kind the words were, no matter that there were tears shed by those letting me know my position had been cut, the truth was this meant that I had to figure things out that I hadn’t been able to figure out in the 31 years previous of my life.
I had to figure out what I would be when I grew up.
It was clear that I couldn’t keep floating, I had to make my life count. I didn’t know how, though. At that time, I thought I’d run a plant business and include an encouraging message with each purchase…the catch was, I spent all my time preparing items to sell. I didn’t have time to pen thoughtful messages of encouragement, and honestly, I wasn’t making any sales anyway.
I filed for unemployment. Discouraged, I was resigned to the idea that I would just have to take whatever job came. The thing is, no jobs came. Six months of job applications and not one call back.
“Ok, I get it,” I laughed in resignation, half looking up to the sky, “…I get it.”
It was God’s way of saying I was on the wrong path…but I didn’t know what path to take. How does a person get paid for wanting to encourage people? For wanting to make their life “all about love”? For dreaming up ways to teach empathy?
I have to admit, it paralyzed me for a long minute…then, I realized that sitting back immobilized while trying to figure it out wasn’t getting me any closer to an answer, and it surely wasn’t helping me pour more love out into the world.
So, here I am. I committed myself to this blog, to using my words to try to spread love and hope. Here I am, studying my crazy hand-crafted curriculum of;
- Love In Action
- Board Game Design
- Asian Art & Culture
- Global Perspectives on Mental Health
- Social Media
All this, while trying to overcome my fears, so that life can move forward. It’s time for life to move forward. I’d love to have you all as front seat observers as the ball gets rolling for real.
I’d also love to be able to offer some insights along the way, so if you’re on a journey not unlike my own, let me know if there is any way I can help, encourage, or support your journey.
Here’s to 2016, I can already tell it will be a year of many stories to tell.
Just one last message. I feel like someone out there needs to hear this–
It can be tough. It will be tough, but you’re going to make it. Just don’t give up on yourself, keep believing in what you know to be true about yourself—EVEN if the doubts and fears that surround you are blaring at you, trying to convince you that you’re not good enough.
You are good enough.